Fixing Myself; Changing Me

Change, it was a difficult thing to do. Changing something or someone that caused me pain is hard. It was like changing the word "love" to "hate" and I don't want it. But something should change, not everything and anything should stay the same. At first, yes I questioned myself "is it even worth changing something I love?" but as time goes by I realized, changing is not a bad thing, it's just like meeting or engaging with new things and forgetting the unhealthy things in the past. I start changing, not because i want it, but because I need it. It was no hassle, i just take my time and enjoyed the process.

I once loss a friend that thought me something in me that I should start changing. Not every time I will be kind, but will try to see and understand the situation whether I need to stand for myself or just be kind and just let it go. I admit, being kind was hard, I was bullied for years, I had experience different kind of harassment  because I didn't do anything about it and just let them do it to me. Everyone told me that I should start standing up for myself, but i was too scared to do it. But, anyways I am trying, despite my fear of hurting someone's feelings, sometimes I need to do it also for my sake and for their sake. I am not blaming them but I also need them to know that I was hurt for them to realize what they did and simply say "sorry". That friend was so close to me, but betrayed me, and it also taught me not to trust everyone around me, but I was too naive to do that and just let myself trust everyone, i just let them handle my trust, whether they're gonna break it or not.  

Mother's Sacrifice

Mothers are the one who gives birth to us, taking care of us, supporting us and giving us unconditional love. Without them, there's no light in our life, without their guide we can't be in the correct path. But not everyone do their part as a mother–not every children receive the motherly love from their own mother. 

After 9 years of sacrificing, the day has finally come, after 9 years we finally celebrated mother's day, with my mother here. I don't really know if I'm happy or not, but one thing I know, I'm thankful, I'm thankful cause she chooses to come back and rest for a while, I'm glad she thought of resting after years of restraining herself, her energy every single day on the other country. Although we don't get along well, even though she can't see my hard works and efforts, even though she's always telling me that i do nothing if i come home tired from school because studying is nothing to her cause the way she managed to study back then was harder than mine and she only care about the results, not my efforts, and after all of that I still appreciate all her hard works and efforts for us, I love her, although she treated me differently to my siblings. 

We celebrated Mother's Day with some of my tita's from mother side and my two grandmothers from both sides. It was fun, I felt like celebrating mother's day with them cause they treat me like their own child more than my mother do. I'm always thankful I have them, I somehow feel the love of a mother. My tita calling me "bunso ko" "anak ko" and sometimes their compliments makes me cry, i love the sound of them calling me like that. It feels so nice, and that tita plans on adopting me, since mama suggested it to her. I couldn't be happier but I can't also leave my siblings and family here.

Labour Day

 Every year, on May 1, Philippines celebrates Labor Day. Labor day is an annual holiday  to celebrate the achievements of workers. For other countries, Labor Day is celebrated on a different date. On April 21st 1856, stonemasons  in Melbourne, Australia protested what they deemed were untenable labor conditions. And the idea of celebrating Labor Day comes from the Labor Union Movement in the United States in the 19th Century. On the 1st day of May in 1886, the two lakh workers called for a nationwide strike demanding an eight-hour workday.  \

In the Philppines, it is known as "Araw ng mga Manggagawa". On May 1, 1903, the first labor day celebration in the Philippines took place. It was organizd  by the Union Obrera Democratica de Filipinas, the first labor federation in the country. People in the Philippines rest, relax and spend  their day with their family and friends.